Bring Back the Beef: Modern Cinema’s Tiny Action Stars

It’s Expendables week and if you’re anything like me, you couldn’t be more erect. There’s just something about a bunch of hulked up dudes, rippling with muscle, dripping with sweat, kicking ass, and wrestling each other that just really appeals to me, ya know? “No homo.” ~ The Lonely Island. But seriously, putting aside the disappointment in the first film (I still dig it, it just could have been way better), there is something great about seeing all the biggest action stars of the 80s and 90s back on screen again in a big way. Notice my word choice here – biggest. Big. Emphasis on size. These dudes are no joke. Sly Stallone could be retired and playing golf Palm Springs, but instead he’s working out and putting guys half his age to shame on the screen. Likewise, Terry Crews, gigantic and scary. Arnold Schwarzenegger, one of the biggest of all time. Dolph Lundgren, Jean Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris – dudes that all flexed serious muscle on screen. Why do people get so excited about these guys making their return to the silver screen? Simple. Our action stars today are lacking. To put it simply: Where’s the beef? Calling the modern action star “tiny” may be a bit of a stretch into insulting territory, but there’s no denying the modern hero takes up a lot less space on the screen. It’s not to say that smaller guys can’t be ass kickers – Jet Li obviously is awesome, while Bruce Willis [Due to Content Scraping and Theft, we have been forced to try abbreviated feeds. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and woud very much appreciate you clicking through to view the full article on FilmSchoolRejects.com]